and again and again...

Single reviews...

2009-11-12T07:00:00.001-08:00

So here is our artrocker review- 4 A's (out of 5). Which is pretty great considering we had thought the doulble a-side was pretty raw in comparison to our first poppy lovely Bleed You Dry. These new tracks are certainly closer to what we do, especially in terms of our live show. Still, it's nice to know poppy or harder- artrocker seem to like it. Nice.

wordssssss

2009-11-05T06:04:00.000-08:00

Recently I have been re-reading Intercourse, a book by Andrea Dworkin. It has been a wonderful re-visit to all kinds of ieas I had when I was younger but had more recently I seemed to forget what life was like.

I had built a soft bubble around me- i was able to ignore the rest of the world, the horrible truths that Intercourse talks about.

I was able to ignore pretty much everything.

It is wonderful to know that there are people who know the awful realities and are getting by. I am lucky to have a group of lovely friends around me, a lovely boyfriend- who is happy to talk and learn new things, and a band loud enough to support me as I scream and sing my frustration out.

This week I am totally addicted to The Dedalus Book of Russian Decadence.

It is so great, I cannot put it down. It has short stories and poems from the late 1800's along the themes of perversity, decadence and death. You can imagine it as the fore runner to something like The Consumer- no where near as dark but it has that kind of eerie tone, like death is always coming closer, the darkness is always chasing you. So although you never get the kind of awful outcomes as in Gira's work you do get the hollow wringing out, the deathly inevitibility of life. However saying that, the poems haven't moved me in slightest.
BAND STUFF:

We played a gig on Tuesday night at 93ft East on Bricklane it was for the Black Poets single launch. It was a good gig although my voice was a little tired. We have met a lovely photographer- you can see his pictures from the night here: www.sinisterpictures.co.uk

We are headlining 93ft East on the 12th of November for ForwardSlash. It should be really fun, we are playing around with the set order and adding a few different songs to make sure we don't get bored. I am sure it does us good to keep changin gthings around a bit. There are lots of exciting meetings taking place about the album and that means we have to be tight, so the more we play, the better. The second single is out at the end of November and will be available from iTunes- it feels a little unreal, we are so lucky to have some people around us who believe in us. I just keep moving forward day by day. Halloween was also fab. We played at the Victoria in mile end. I will upload some pics in a bit.

here we go...

2009-10-01T07:58:00.000-07:00

so from now on Death Cigarettes are known as Cold IN Berlin. It was a difficult change (who knew changing a name could be hard?) but we have done it.

It was suggested by our management and our PR...and it is probably for the best. Lots of potential problems with copyright for Death Cigarettes in the future, when the album comes out, also other stuff too (but nothing else that would make us think about changing really).

I wanted to be Kharms (after Kharms-obviously!) but that sounded too much like Kasms, then I wanted to be NUL- after playing around with synonyms for 'nothing' but there is a band called nul already and they are doing quite well.

After that I wanted to be White Horse, mainly because I was writing a song called that at the time and was feeling a bit bleak about most things. But there are hundreds of bands called white horse!So that was a NO also.

A little later when I thought we would never find a name I dug through some old photos. There were lots of lovely memories from a holiday with my best friend to Berlin. And it was fucking freezing. So cold in fact that I refused to get out of bed in the morning and he would run down stairs to the buffet table and grab as much as he could carry, then he would put it on the radiator in our room and go back to sleep.

That was just how we were living those days.

When we woke we would peel the bacon and bread from the radiator, eat and then put on as many layers as we could manage. Then we would try to forget our hangovers and wonder around looking for a place to party that night.

We were cold in berlin and we were having a fucking amazing time!

Not the 'deepest' of reasons. But still, reason enough for me.

Cherry Red tv.

2009-09-11T09:15:00.000-07:00

Check out>....Cherry Red TV Clip pf a live show we did and also a little interview. We share the vid with another band called 'Arrows of Love' who were lovely and wonderful live.

snaps from video shoot...

2009-09-01T07:59:00.001-07:00

the new cut of the video is fab. i cannot wait till it is actually all done.

i have been thinking about our new song. It is called White Horse and we want to play it at the festival this weekend.

Also- been using twitter this week which is nice?!

Ok... some words...

Waiting:

She stalls her own breath,
there was never a white horse,
there was never an easy answer,
and you were her everything,
you were her everything.
She walks tall,
it is simpler than it used to be,
eyes flick on -depending on occassion,
hold her still but her head still spins,
and you were her everything,
you were her everything.

Yeah GIG tonight!

2009-08-06T08:06:00.000-07:00

2009-08-05T07:47:00.000-07:00

Video video video

2009-08-05T07:20:00.001-07:00

Here is a creepy picture of my face on a wall. I think i am singing but I am not sure. We used quite a lot of projected images and some of them are really cool but unfortunately this is the only one I have so far!

We used some footage from a animal documentary whis looked pretty good. The whole day totally wore us out. This is me hanging from the ceiling using film strips. It was much fun juming around the warehouse and pulling the film down around us.

Have also been thinking about adjectives alot recently. What is the most important one use dto describe a human being? I cannot decide but would love some suggestions.

to begin again

2009-07-27T03:04:00.000-07:00

so we begin again,

it will be easy, i will write things down and be in touch. I promise.

Any way, have finally had some time to work out eblogger, at least i am starting to. So that was what my promise was about-to try and use it properly, to find people with similar views on things, music and life. Like grrrrrlsounds. Awesome.

All day yesterday we were shooting our video for our second single. I am so tired. There is a lot of waiting around and then lots to do. We had a great time though, we were working with Anton Short who is a lovely film maker based in london. Him and his team were amazing and i can't wait to see the finished video. We even 'wrapped' on time! I will post some pics as soon as we have them.

Subject: video... 'If You Take me Apart'

2009-01-13T14:02:00.000-08:00

all weekend we have worked hard on shooting our video.
it was very stressful and quite disorientating,
i felt quite sick at one point.
the strobe was a bit mad.
in a break we wrote a new song,
its great to have a moment like that,
so busy and full of songs and words and noise and tired,
i am so tired now though.

again and again and again and again

2009-01-13T13:59:00.000-08:00

i wait all day to write
i need all day to write and it smarts,
stings,
wrings me out,
leaves me dry.
the fear eats daily,
a total fear,
songs that hurts,
songs that kicks,
days that stretch.
again and again and again and again and again.

the year my life exploded

2009-01-12T13:15:00.000-08:00

start:all of a sudden she wakes,
he is not beside he,
he left his thumb print inside her,
she stumbles...
he travels.
the light catches his breath between them,
words he cannot bring himself to say.
soon, soon,
he thinks he will be closer to her than ever before,
slowly, slowly,
she removes herself from his walls,
his room,
his television,
his lungs.
EnD.

Hunger, Boredom, Intercourse

2008-12-13T06:20:00.000-08:00

I have been ill. I missed our last gig of the year. because of this I have been reading more than I can get in in my usual commute to and from work.

first i read hunger...perfect. next i read boredom...spectacular.
now i am re-reading intercourse...it is like i had fogotten everything important about being a woman.

it is like i had started playing by the rules even though i hated them and staying within the lines made me ill and useless to myself. does everyone feel like that sometimes? does anyone feel like that all the time? I had put my illness down to weather and general lack of looking after myself but actually i now realise it is more about the slow drip drip effect of the day to day inequality that i accept and in fact take part in. i have made myself less than myself. i enjoy the rules that make me so useless, i have nothing else to enjoy...nobody taught me how.

nobody taught me how to live outside those rules, to not buy the magazines, to not watch the telly, to not listen to the songs, to not enjoy sex as an object. by that i mean to not be an object. if i am not beautiful, slim, tall, wanted...what am i? What is left? obviously i am overplaying a point for effect but i do really mean this. what is my education, my music, my career, my lifestyle other than a tool to further objectify myself in order to sell myself. i had actually started to believe that with less makeup, less styling, less 'show' i was freeing myself..being more equal. the truth was that i just replaced one set of tools with another. at the end of the day i am as uncomfartable and ill as ever.

more confused, objectified and lost. desensitised and unloving.

our first track will be on itunes soon, which will take my mind off things for a while.

2008-11-16T08:46:00.000-08:00

HelloWeAreDeathCigarettes.

We have a show Wednesday 26th November at The SeaBright Arms in Bethnal Green.
This is to help celebrate the launch of a new magazine called Buck.
Are we excited? I don't even know...we will be loud though which will help drown out the sound of the rest of the city. Which will be nice for a while.
And the magazine will be awesome.

So now we have a blog.